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Fans of the Mister Master
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I like to buy bow ties for people! :iconeleventhdoctorlaplz::heart:

Bow ties bought for Deviants as of 11th June: 17

It is my life aim for everyone to have a bow tie for their llama!

Also, I'll love anyone for life if they donate even one point!
Anything will help! :heart::love::dalove::heart:

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2016 was one hell of a year.

:bulletpink: My dog, Jimmy, collapsed and died (you can find his pictures in my gallery).
:bulletpink: My boyfriend collapsed, dislocating his shoulder. He keeps having seizures. (If you're reading this LittleStallion, please let me vent).
:bulletpink: I got dropped from therapy. As a result, my OCD is worse; I act like a zombie most of the time, in fear of compulsions.
:bulletpink: (This looks so whiny, it's all me me me me me; I will get to you amazing lot!) <3
:bulletpink: A positive thing: I was almost a year clean. :)
:bulletpink: Started college for the third time, but we have one teacher left out of six, meaning the fate of the course is hanging in the balance.
:bulletpink: Honestly, my mind is stuck back in 2013; everything is just phasing past me.

Right, it seems I'm getting sidetracked now, so I might as well stop with the bullet points.
(I'm not going to say any spoilers about Sherlock, but I will put a trigger warning out there for anyone who needs it).
I think everyone is feeling awful after 2016, the year of...well, I don't even know what that was. Everything felt like it was falling apart. Still does. Last year is leaking into this, but I don't even know what day it is at any given time.
I'm being faced with eviction from my own home. The landlord is charging me full rent, £90 a week, and if I don't get a job soon I don't know what I'll do.
I became actually, beautifully happy. It was a fluorescent thing to feel - it illuminated my soul. Then tons of bad things happened all at once, and suddenly I was put on suicide watch because I was always one mental breakdown away from death.
It sounds so selfish, the way I value - or don't value - my life. Honestly, day to day life is much happier, and much easier, than a long time ago. I have come a long way.
People are angry now, though, that I have depressed weeks. They shout at me. They roar. They're frustrated, because in those weeks it looks like I'm not trying. They're annoyed they can't do anything about it.
I haven't been writing much in the past year, not because I didn't want to, but my OCD tells me something bad will happen if I do. I have a lot of fanfictions stored anyway - over 400. I want to publish them all. It would be an uplifting thing.
I might as well mention my OCD tells me something bad will happen no matter what I do. My mind is a trap. I'm the fly in its deceptively harmless leaves.
I can't even remember most things, everything is so fuzzy. I'm trying so hard to have clarity, I really, wholeheartedly am. People get angry at me for silly reasons now. I don't know what I've done most of the time, and they don't tell me.

Summary: I'm better than I was, but not exuberant.

Every day I take a moment to come on deviantart, read the comments you leave me, and let your emotion warm my heart. It's thrilling, to know how I can affect someone in a (hopefully) good way. I love writing to please you. I love knowing that I could have made someone's day brighter. That sounds kind of selfish, but I do love helping you.

I'm sorry I don't reply much at all, but if this journal is anything to go by, you can see how words are so hard to come by these days. My mind is an empty cloud of fog, forecast for a long while. Sunshine is beautiful, and I take complete and utter joy out of my good days.

Without a therapist, I feel better and worse. Better, because she was awful. Worse, because my problems have inflated themselves to unnecessary highs. It's stupid, and I hate myself for being this way. If I learn to love myself, I get told why I shouldn't. It's a tender cycle, and one that gets continuously rapid as time goes on.

Look, I am legitimately sorry for making you read this. And I'm sorry for apologising. I need somewhere to help clear all the fog, and you always have the most pure souls out of anyone I know. You always keep me clear-headed. Your comments are invaluable to me, like tickets to happiness.
You are loved by someone, but I know that unless it's the someone you wish it to be, it isn't the same. I know my love doesn't mean much to some of you, but you have it, and I'm not taking it back.

I try and post fanfic regularly. My OCD stops me. You know if I post one, that I am having a good day. I really hope to post something soon.
Also, I've just gained access to all that fanfic I lost years ago when my tablet died. That is a very good thing.

Keep it real Starchildren, and don't over think things; it only leads to more pain.

Love ya <3

~ Eversley





<3

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ExuberantStarchild's Profile Picture
ExuberantStarchild
Eversley
Artist | Professional | Literature
United Kingdom
Previously Whisperer96

"I’m constantly running away from everything. I’m running away from things on a daily basis. I run away from relationships. I run away from responsibilities." ~ Norman Reedus.

I'm a SuperWhoLockian who's addicted to tea and making people blush. And weird things.
Oh, and I'm addicted to reader insert stories.
And adorable people. Like Smithy.
And stuff.
And Bucky.
I'm a Time Lady.

miss-jennys-sherbert-fancies.t…

My glorious fandoms:
:bulletpink: Doctor Who, Torchwood and The Sarah Jane Adventures
:bulletpink: Sherlock
:bulletpink: The Walking Dead
:bulletpink: Atlantis (BBC)
:bulletpink: Luther
:bulletpink: NCIS
:bulletpink: Supernatural
:bulletpink: Marvel
:bulletpink: Pokemon
:bulletpurple: Saints Row
:bulletpink: The IT Crowd
:bulletpink: Broadchurch
:bulletpink: Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
:bulletpink: Disney
:bulletpink: Hetalia
:bulletpink: Warehouse 13
:bulletpink: Under The Dome
:bulletpink: Star Trek (Old and new)
:bulletpink: Wicked (Musical)
:bulletpink: Les Miserables
:bulletpink: Tim Burton Films
:bulletpink: Skulduggery Pleasant
:bulletpink: Percy Jackson
:bulletpink: The Returned (French drama)
:bulletpink: CSI: Miami
:bulletpink: CSI: New York
:bulletpink: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (Las Vegas)
:bulletpink: DC
:bulletpink: Freefonix (You've probably never heard of it, but if you have I'll marry you tomorrow)
:bulletpink: Animal Crossing
:bulletpink: Legend of Zelda




Here are some epic people:

My online sistah: :iconminxif:

My Whoniverse sistah's: :iconanimestarwolf45::iconkawaii-bunny-girl:

The wonderful woman who never gives up on me: :iconmousehatsandbowties:

My completely awesome bow-tie buddy: :icona-rchdemon:

My totally amazing Whovian #1 bow-tie funder: :iconfuture--hearts:

This totally amazing person who seems to think I deserve points: :iconthetennantdoctor:

Really great and epic online friends (Seriously some of the best people I've known):
:iconautumnsky66::iconooyour-imaginationoo::iconmiss-union-jack::iconlittlebluebirdlost::iconkatherinefan324::iconviolous::iconjade6899gogo::iconjellybabiebunny::iconradical--highway::icondivinechunky::iconletmebecowgirl::iconsherlock16::iconmeerkatlover27::iconrebelwithapencil::iconjazebeth::iconottolover101::iconpapayagirlofdeath::iconmudpaw97::iconrudepeople::iconthea115::iconfangirl30::iconholster262::iconluvbug01::iconninjawhovian::iconmelodymalone123::iconawkwardgerbil::iconironmeow::iconwinters-dawn1221::iconpatches2741::iconmaniculous-ladybug::iconzombimandi::iconthefemaledoctor1073::icontafelmuis:

Friends who've left dA: :iconjoeyandthetardis::iconp-polaris::iconsunset-xxx-sky::iconconniebea::iconpentiumtwo::iconsilver-of-the-night::iconsuper-carradio:

The greatest people I've ever known: :iconcharliesalvatore::iconsarianaj: You know you're at the bottom because I luuurve you both.




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Comments


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:iconsteph6000:
steph6000 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2017
Thanks for the watch!
Reply
:iconwonderlandisonfire:
wonderlandisonfire Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the watch! :)
Reply
:iconimpossiblegirl69:
impossiblegirl69 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2017
thanks for the watch!
Reply
:iconsarianaj:
SarianaJ Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for all the faves!
Reply
:iconlunapura:
LunaPura Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Thank you very much for the llama and the watch! :tighthug:
Reply
:icontheextremegoose:
TheExtremeGoose Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
happy birthday!!! <3
Reply
:iconclair-oswin-oswald:
Clair-Oswin-Oswald Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2016  Student Writer
Happy birthday!!!! :hug:
Reply
:icontimelapse11:
Timelapse11 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2016  Student General Artist
Hey! Happy birthday! I hope you have/had a great day! birthday cake Five Nights at Freddys 2- Chicas Cupcake -Icon GIF Free Birthday Icon Birthday cake  icon 
Reply
:iconwinters-dawn1221:
Winters-Dawn1221 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
:cake: Happy birthday, sweetie! :huggle: I hope you have a very lovely day! :heart:
Reply
:iconsaimgraphics:
SaimGraphics Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
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ஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜ


:iconblushyplz:

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SaimGraphics  deviantart
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